Home Base: Host Families in Santiago
The emotions that accompany the idea of living with a family that鈥檚 not your own during your time abroad fall in the gray area between exhilarating and absolutely terrifying. You鈥檒l find yourself experiencing the whole spectrum of these emotions; both before your time abroad and during it. But students in Santiago have navigated this challenge, and lived to tell the tale of finding their home base in a new country.
That鈥檚 Different鈥
Few people have the opportunity to integrate themselves into another family. Your first few weeks in , you鈥檒l notice the changes more than the similarities, and that鈥檚 natural. Not
surprisingly, the biggest difference will probably be the language. Ellie Taft says that conversing in a language that鈥檚 not her native tongue is difficult because 鈥渋t鈥檚 not something [she鈥檚] going to drastically improve upon in a day or even a week.鈥 This difficulty will be apparent when you sit down for meals. In most families, everyone sits down together at the exact same time and stays at the table until everyone has finished their food. In high school, Sam Beck had an
athlete鈥檚 schedule and two working parents. This meant 鈥渢here wasn鈥檛 always time to sit down together for every meal.鈥 When she arrived in Santiago, she found that 鈥渢here鈥檚 an
expectation that everyone will eat together.鈥
贵补尘颈濒测鈥
Traditionally, Chileans do not eat dinner (but don鈥檛 worry, your host family will cook you dinner). Instead, they have 鈥渙nce,鈥 a light meal usually consisting of bread and tea. Meal time is conversation time so at first you may be stuck staring cluelessly at your family members and dropping a 鈥渟i鈥 or 鈥渘o鈥 when it seems appropriate. You may also find that topics of conversation are more personal than in the United States. Your family may ask if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, if you鈥檝e ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend, if you get along with your parents, etc. These questions are your host family鈥檚 way of trying to bond with you and get to know you better. Fran Ibarra says that finding the right balance of social life and family life is harder here because you can be independent, but you also can鈥檛 forget that you鈥檙e living with a family.
础诲箩耻蝉迟颈苍驳鈥
Differences are simply that: things that are new or unique from what you鈥檙e used to. The beauty of study abroad is that you can embrace those differences while expanding your
worldview and mindset. The language is a challenge, but it is a challenge to be overcome. Two weeks after my arrival my host father, Pato, commented on how much more I was understanding. Of course, there were still times I started blankly at him, having trouble discerning the words under his thick Chilean accent. But, my home is where I can practice my language skills without judgement. It鈥檚 a safe space to challenge myself, and as Ellie says, 鈥渋t鈥檚 all about putting [yourself] out there, even though it鈥檚 hard, you realize that you know more than you think you do.鈥
Ellie Taft with her host mom, Mar铆a Antonieta
贵补尘颈濒测鈥
Overwhelmingly students say that adjusting to the amount of family time is difficult. However, Sam says that she鈥檚 come to love how 鈥渇amilies make time for each other.鈥 Fran, who is currently living with her own extended Chilean family, says that she鈥檚 gotten used to 鈥渆ating a big meal, drinking some mango sours, and talking about everything and anything鈥 with her family.
Overwhelmingly, every student I interviewed wants to incorporate the tradition of family time into their lives back in the United States. The pressures to fill your schedule with
extracurriculars, social outings, and academic ordeals can be overwhelming. While these pressures still exist in Santiago, you are offered a brief lapse from the pressure during the time you spend with your family. Alex says that back in the U.S. food has less to do with connecting to people than it does filling an empty stomach. But here her host mom enforces a strict 鈥渘o phones at the table rule,鈥 forcing the family to decompress and spend time with each other. Fran adds that 鈥渇amily life here isn鈥檛 taken for granted, and it shows.鈥
As far as privacy, you can share as much or as little as you like with your family. It may be intimidating at first, but once you realize it鈥檚 their way of connecting with you, you may find
some of those personal barriers coming down. In the end, your host family is happy with whatever you decide to share with them.
The definition of family鈥
While living with a host family, you may not live in a 鈥渢raditional nuclear family鈥. Ellie鈥檚 idea of family was much more concentrated around the idea of being 鈥渂orn into鈥 a family. She went from living with a large family in the U.S. to living alone with a single woman. But after a few weeks she feels her host mom cares about her like an actual daughter. Ellie鈥檚 host mom wants her to succeed, thrive and grow during her time here.
Alex also lives with a single host mother. However, she says she鈥檚 amazed at how she stays close to her extended family. As someone with family spread out across multiple countries, Alex says living with her host mom has made her reflect on the importance of family and what it means to be part of a family. Living with a host family means being open to re-defining family and what 鈥渇amily鈥 looks like.
Final thoughts鈥
The key to living with a host family is keeping an open mind. There will be many differences and many similarities, and it is all part of the immersion experience. Every host family truly wants you to have the best experience you possibly can. Look at every encounter, similarity, or difference as an opportunity to grow and expand.
While you naturally drift through the gray area of emotions between exhilarating and absolutely terrifying, remember that a plethora of students before you have gone from living with a family that鈥檚 not their own, to living with the family they鈥檝e redefined as their own, and now you have the chance to do this too.
Cira M. | International Politics major | Georgetown University | Pontificia Universidad Cat贸lica in Chile | Fall 2019 | IFSA International Correspondent